I attended an instructor's seminar this past weekend with 20 (-ish) other wado-ryu karate practitioners, all of whom had significantly more experience (and ability) than I. I really enjoy these seminars. Not only does it put me in front of some incredible instructors, but I always walk away highly motivated and with a ton of fresh insight. This time was no different, except that I also took part in the black belt exam, my first attempt at earning the distinction of that advanced rank. In that particular effort, I failed.

Failure. That word has such a shitty connotation. In a good number of circumstances, it can be the best outcome and I'm finding this to be one of those circumstances. I don't want to get into a long history of my training experience, but I've been traveling this path since 2001 with close to 3 years of time off scattered between the time I started and now. I've had great instruction, and in my opinion 10 years of training, in whatever shape or form, marks a significant amount of effort. So, there's a small, but undeniable sense of disappointment that I can't and won't ignore.

But if I had passed, it may have done me more harm than good. I knew in my gut that I wasn't ready. Not only has my practice been primarily solo for the last couple years, but there has been a tremendous amount of change in my life recently that has made my practice sporadic and unfocused. Had I passed, it would have tarnished the respect I have for my previous instructors, my current instructor, and my fellow members of this small, elite organization I've involved myself in. But I didn't pass. The leadership that acted as my examiners are the top level instructors in our organization. And they sat the exam with the utmost objectivity.

Now, they could have said, "No, you suck, move along", but they didn't. The first words out of my instructor's mouth, words I won't forget, were, "We'd like you to try again." The following 10 minutes included very specific feedback from the 6 person panel that I would take away as homework. Whether I pass the next exam or not is irrelevant to me right now. Rather, I am certain to be better off for having failed this exam.

I've always felt that the current McDojo culture has deminished what once was a very difficult achievement. These days, schools concerned with putting profit over quality pass out black belts as if they were simply a certificate of attendence. When I pass this exam, I'll know I earned it, and that it didn't come easily.

For now, it's back to basics. I need people to train with for sure, so I'll be travelling a bit and recruiting people who want to join me on this journey. In the meantime, I'll be tackling one basic technique at a time, drilling it over and over, and requesting feedback, asking questions, and generally pestering the people who have left me with this intense motivation.

For those who have been following my blog and workouts, prior to the seminar I put myself through 11 weeks of a linear progression strength cycle. I missed my load numbers in that week, and then took the following week off to focus just on rest and training for the seminar and exam.

I'm back at it this week, and will be picking back up the LP, although I'll go through a bit of a reset since I didn't hit some of my loads in that last week. Additionally, I'll be adding some metcon work back into the mix, ala CrossFit Football.

Yesterday's Training

Karate (am)

20 minutes of warm-ups and basics, then 40 minutes of front punch (junzuki) practice. It's intense to just do one technique for that long, but as I've been told, it's the key to fixing many of my other issues. This will likely be my focus for at least the next few weeks.

Strength (pm)

Deadlifts: 1 x 10+ @ 262.5#. I pulled 12.

Conditioning (pm)

5 rounds for time of:

6 x Power Snatch @ 75# +
10 x Box Step-Ups @ 40# each hand

I forgot my timer so I just had to power through it. Thinking I finished in the 5 min. range. The original workout was rx'd at 135# and 54# respectively. Having had a couple weeks off of loaded effort, I scaled down a bit. I probably could have gone 80# or 85# on the snatches, but I did a practice effort at 95# and wobbled too much to feel safe. I'll get there.